Here’s the first chapter, the format is the same for all twelve chapters:

CHAPTER ONE

(Sam)

The first chapter provides an overview of the entire book, introducing the idea of “Sams.” In a nutshell, Sams are mentors, those men and women who provide guidance for others on their life journey.

This chapter sets the stage for following chapters, and highlights the key points to be found elsewhere.

Sams are defined not only as mentors, but counselors, friends and sounding boards. They are the ones guarding your back or sometimes just being there as needed. They can be your spouse or your best friends, but not always.

They are the ones who stand beside you when everyone else abandons you; the ones who speak the truth in your life when no one else will; the ones who join you on the mountaintop; yet also help out in those dark valleys.

The chapter ends with the story of how the title of the book came about.

KEY POINTS:

• Sams are human – they can only do so much.
• In the end, it’s up to you.
• Some Sams come and go, others stay a lifetime. The key – their lessons remain forever.

KEY VERSE:

“Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do,

develop good judgment.”

(Proverbs 4:7)

QUESTIONS:

No. 1 – Read Proverbs 4:7

        Why does the Bible say getting wisdom is the “wisest thing you can do?”

No. 2 - How do you define wisdom?

No. 3 - C.S. Lewis said, “The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.” What does that mean to you?

No. 4 - After reading Chapter One, how would you define a Sam?

No. 5 - Can you name a Sam or Sams in your life?

No. 6 - Describe how that individual was a Sam, what made them so?

No. 7 - What is the greatest lesson you learned from one of your Sams?

No. 8 - How has that lesson changed your life? What do you do differently now?

No. 9 - Have you shared your “lessons learned” with others? What is the value in sharing your wisdom?

No. 10 - What does Sam mean when he says he can’t carry Frodo’s burden yet can carry him?

No. 11 - Have you ever tried to carry someone’s “burden” rather than just “carrying them?” In other words, trying to take over the situation rather than just being there for them. What happened? What did you learn?

A couple of big announcements: a new study guide to Everyone Needs A Sam will be available soon; and an e-book version of Everyone Needs A Sam is now out.

If all goes well, the book-version guide will be out next month.

The guide is designed for small group study and personal devotions. The goal is to help you find your own Sams, to seek biblical wisdom with a passion. The guide includes a brief recap of each chapter in Everyone Needs A Sam, along with key points and a key scripture.

The study questions are three-fold: First, to help you find your own Sams; Second, to help you change the world – being a Sam to others; Third, to discover the power of the Ultimate Sam.

The e-book version of Sam is now available on all major e-reader platforms. So if that’s your preference, check out the major readers and download.

I was born and raised in a God-fearing Christian home in Topeka, Kansas. At an early age, my parents taught me right from wrong. They also taught me that I would always be held accountable and responsible for all and any of my actions in life. They taught me how important it was to love God, family and friends, and the importance of living with honor, integrity and trust.

The importance of friends was often talked about and often noted that many people never had what was called a “true friend.” They defined “true friend” as a person (non-spouse) who you could always depend on, without hesitation, if your life was in dire straights. In other words, if you were experiencing major financial, marital, employment, religious, social, mental or any other problem within your life, was there one “true friend” you could call upon who would immediately respond with help and without hesitation and/or judgement?

My parents said that if you could at least one “true friend,” you should consider yourself a blessed person in life. I never forgot that.

I played numerous sports throughout high school and later played four years of baseball at Washburn University. I firmly believe athletics helps build character, confidence and discipline in one’s self. I’m still a huge sports fan and it never cases to amaze me when I hear prominent college and professional coaches telling their players “do as I say, not as I do.”

What kind of leader or teacher would do or say something like that? As a kid growing up, I really looked up to my father, as most boys do. If my father had been an alcoholic, drug abuser or womanizer, there is a good chance I would have done the same as an adult. People we look up to, no matter if it’s political, educational, religious or work related, need to lead by example, not be lies, corruption or deceit.

In 1980, I graduated from Washburn with a criminal law degree and a few years later, entered the law enforcement profession. During my 27 years in law enforcement, that last 21 years as a Special Agent with the FBI, I sometimes think back of situations I often found myself in while making arrests and/or serving search warrants.

If not for the grace of God, some of those situations could have left me with serious injury and/or death. I’ve witnessed death, violence, drug abuse, scandals, hate and deceit. I’ve interviewed thousands of people who do not want to be held accountable or responsible for their evil actions.

I think it’s safe to say, at the very least, most of these people do not have any “true friends” in their life. However, I have no doubt it is never too late to change your lifestyle from bad to good. In doing so, you are on your way to finding the love of God, family and “true friends.”

He saw some thing in this young, ill-tempered,trash mouthed,defiant white boy from Georgia. He liked me and I liked him. He was an instructor and we remained friends even after I left the service.

He retired many years later and returned home to Rogersville, Tn. We spoke by phone and I visited there several times, we grew to love each other very much.

I never met anyone that did not like him. On Feb. 10, 2008 the world lost a fine man, the finest black man I have ever known. He was a SAM to me and many others….his name….David Gudger.

In my own life, I have experienced an abundance of Sams. They came in and out of my life, leaving a lasting impression and changing me forever. I am blessed with many, many Sams, too many to count.

Two of my Sams, however, simply cannot be compared to any others. They rose above the rest and remain held in my highest esteem.  As I was writing this, I was barely able to write through the tears, because again I was reminded of how blessed and fortunate I was to have been guided, loved, and influenced by these two extraordinary people.

The Sams I want to honor are my Mother and Father. To me they epitomized and embodied the meaning of a Sam. Hardly a day does not go by that I do not recount a wise word that was passed on to me by them. Hopefully, the author will forgive me for choosing two Sams. It is impossible to select one because their impact on me was equally strong.

I always knew I was in a privileged circle because I was in the presence of these Sams from the beginning and through my journey of life. They were not perfect, but they were amazing. I credit them for the woman I am today.

I was given the privilege to know how Sams work and operate firsthand. They poured into the lives of those around them for no selfish reasons but to simply bless, encourage and empower others.

I believe all my friends knew my parents were Sams too. Everyone wanted to come to our house. My Sams had open arms and hearts. Friends sought my parent’s prayers, advice and support for their futures, and I was no exception. My Sams prayed for and led many of my
friends and my brother’s friends to the Lord. Strangers were no exception from their special touch either.

My earliest remembrances of my parents were those of encouragement, support and faith in me and my abilities. Having been diagnosed with dyslexia and a learning disability in third grade, it shaped how I viewed myself and the world around me. Most of my educational experience was a struggle. In turn, it made me insecure and I lacked self confidence. But my
parents knew what to do and did it just right.

My mom steered me toward what I excelled in, such as public speaking, singing, art and acting. I remember asking her how I would ever get a job when I couldn’t even spell and was horrible in math. Her reply was “you’ll hire a secretary”! Well she was right. Every job
I ever had, I had a secretary. Then I married a writer and editor … you gotta love it!

One time my mom mailed me my third grade report card. It was filled with D and F’s. I called her and asked why she mailed it to me, because it seemed odd to remind me of such a difficult time. Mom said “she wanted me to see how far I had come, Master’s Degree
and all”

To help me with my confidence, my mom enrolled me in modeling and charm schools. At the time of my first fashion show, when I was about 11, I panicked. I just couldn’t go through with it. I remember my dad calling from work and saying “You have worked hard and now you have what it takes to finish what you started. If you don’t want to do another one after this that is fine, but you will want to finish this one. You are prepared and you can do it.”

I did finish and loved every minute of it. He was so right. I remember it as though it was yesterday. That kind of wisdom — finish what you start — has stayed with me all these years.

When I was starting a small business back about five years ago, Daddy sent me a small handwritten note dated 9/5/05. It read: “Success is the result of: 1. Having a dream 2. Give it all you’ve got 3. Believe in yourself and believe in your dream 4. Work within your limits and your capabilities 5. Enjoy and love what you are doing 6. Set some realistic goals for yourself and be patient. Enjoy! Love Mom and Dad.”

I have a box filled with notes of inspiration just like that one. They never held back an opportunity to encourage, to teach and to love.

What a gift it was for me to have my parents as Sams; they were my favorite ones. They spoke life and purpose into my life. But most of all, they spoke the love of Jesus Christ to me and everyone they met. They gave me all the tools anyone could ever ask for to help
them succeed.

And now in the words of my husband, I encourage you, be a Sam!

It was a pretty big list, but we gave to those who needed them. A Korean church that didn’t have a piano; a washer and dryer to a needy couple; dressers, couches, tables and chairs to an outreach center; and yes, even a gas grill. Even the Little Black Dress gave up a kitchen table she designed, as well as her favorite sofa. But we felt good about it. We were helping others.

When we moved to Oklahoma, we soon met a wonderful couple. They turned out to be dear friends, true Sams to us and many others. Their true calling was connecting people to people to further God’s plans. They set me up with friend, with publishers and others who were instrumental in getting my book, Everyone Needs A Sam, published. They even helped edit it.

What we didn’t know at first, but soon learned, was this couple was going through an intense  financial situation.

This part is really their story to tell so, I don’t want to go into a lot of detail.  But eventually began to start selling everything they had accumulated over the years: a house, a single-engine airplane, a twin-engine airplane, an offshore racing boat, and eventually, the house where they live now.

Yet throughout that time, they continued to pray for our family, for my book. It was always, “how can we help.” They were, and are, true Sams. They have a servant’s heart. I am constantly amazed how they continue, despite the loss of almost everything, to put others first. They continue to help others regardless of their own situation and their faith never wavers.

On our side, we decided to move back to Georgia for various reasons. One day my wife was kidding around about how we would have to buy a new washer and dryer and some other furniture because we gave ours away. And our dear friends just turned around and offered us an extra washer and dryer they had, plus a couple of couches.

Just like that.

Their motto is found in Galatians: “Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone – especially to those in the family of faith.”

I don’t know where our journey or theirs will end up on this earth, but I know that God will reward this couple for what they have done for so many when they had the resources to do so.

I am not one of those “name it and claim it” types, but I hold the following scripture for them:

“And God will generously provide all you need. They you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. As the Scriptures say, ‘They share freely and give generously to the poor. Their good deeds will be remembered forever.” 2 Corinthian 9:8,9

To Jean and Brenda, thanks for being our Sams.

His teaching experiences were many and varied.

In the 1980s, Billy owned not only the second largest newspaper in the state, but the largest locally owned company in Augusta, Georgia. He was pretty much depended on for everything in the community and he contributed to all, but got little credit for it.

One day the Augusta Rowing Regatta came calling, asking how to make the nationwide collegiate competition on the Savannah River more successful. They really wanted a contribution. But they asked for advice, and Billy was trying to give it.

After a quick lunch at a riverside restaurant Billy and the Regatta board, with me in tow, took a hike down the levy that separated the river from Downtown. It was overgrown, extremely steep and full of flying bugs with teeth near the finish line. Billy immediately saw, “there’s no good place to watch the finish.” He looked up at a highway bridge overlooking the river and announced, “we need to close the bridge and put bleachers on it.”

“Can’t,” replied a board member. “It’s a state highway.”

We trekked on for 15 minutes with Billy pausing occasionally to point out the strength of the bridge bleachers, each time getting the same reply. On his fifth mention, he was standing next to me and I foolishly answered, “But you can’t close a state highway.” Big mistake.

In the time it takes for a mosquito to buzz, Billy had whipped around to face me, our noses inches apart: “Don’t tell me what I can’t do! People have been doing that all my life. Of course you can close a state highway! It’s done all the time. Tell me HOW you’re going to get it done.”

I never told Billy he couldn’t do anything again. And I rarely allowed anyone to tell me, either.

When he was the managing editor of the Chicago Daily News, no one worked harder. He could be a tough editor, yet we had some great racquet ball matches. And when we found ourselves with Chicago Bears season tickets a row apart, he and his wife Bea would bring the hot buttered rum to games.

I didn’t realize it until later, but I actually learned a lot of journalism during those social occasions. Gregory also loves to cook and often had staff members over for dinner, or brought food into the office.

I’ve talked to other people who worked for him in other cities and they all tell the same stories about how much they learned from Gregory at those informal gatherings.  He also stood up for me and showed me how to pick my way through the minefield of a merged newsroom when the Daily News died and some of us were moved to the morning Sun-Times. Through the years whenever I needed help sorting through a tough problem I could always count on Gregory for solid advice.

Here’s a link to my youtube page that includes a television interview on “Atlanta Live”

October 17, 2010: Here’s a link to the talk I gave at Abiding Harvest United Methodist Church. It’s about 30 minutes and audio only.

July 31, 2010: The Newnan Times Herald ran a story about Everyone Needs A Sam as their lead cover story on their Religion Page. Click here.

Aug. 10, 2010: A podcast interview with Canadian writer and blogger Dave Gordon is here. You might have to scroll down to find it.

No one.

At the time, the eldest Son of Thunder was three; the second Son of Thunder was hanging out inside the Little Black Dress, and was due in a couple of months. Between the move, unpacking, starting a new job, baby on the way, not knowing a soul … we were slightly stressed.

And along came Courtney, although we never called her that.

She was Kiki, because eldest Thunder Son couldn’t say her real name, so Kiki she was. We actually stole her from another family who let us “borrow” her for a night so The Dress and I could get an actual date. Somehow, we just connected, and Kiki became our babysitter, educator, playmate and guardian of the two Thunder Sons.

Kiki enabled me to focus on my new job; it gave the LBD a few hours just to be alone and relax. Without her, I don’t know what we would have done.

We relied and depended on her so much that we once left her in charge of our one-year-old and four-year-old for a week while we attended a family wedding out in California. Now, before everyone freaks, Kiki’s mother and sister came over and stayed at the house as well.

All I can say is during that two-year period, she was our Sam.

Most think Sams are usually older; the ones who have been there and can share their life experiences. But sometimes, as in this case, a Sam can be a home-schooled high-schooler. A true Sam comes in all ages.

Kiki came to visit the other day. She’s grown up now. She spent time in the Marines and is now studying to be a physician’s assistant.

She was out talking with The Dress when I happened to join them. Kiki was saying how much she appreciated us, how The Dress was like a second mother to her. And she spoke about how much she admired our marriage, and how she wanted a relationship with her future husband like ours.

And I was pretty flabbergasted. I felt during those two years we were just hanging on. I was never really happy in my job there, although I loved my boss and co-workers. It just wasn’t the place for me.  We only developed a couple of close relationships, and we had two little babies in tow. It was just a tough couple of years.

And here’s our Sam saying what a great Sam we were to her. That made The Dress smile, almost shed a tear.

I guess it goes to show that people are watching us all the time, even when we don’t think about it. We made it through that two-year period because we worked at it, and we had a Sam.

I never really understand why I was there during that two-year stretch. It remains a blur to me to this day. Yet if we were able to impact and impress a high-school kid to want something great in life, then I guess God put us there for that reason.

That’s good enough for me.